Climate Change Will Destroy Everything You Love

cocoa-going-extinct

Now it’s even going to take away your chocolate:

“When anything bad happens in the world, we can usually count on one thing to make us feel better: chocolate. After all, there’s nothing like a good candy bar or pain au chocolat to comfort us in times of trouble. But what happens when the cruel world decides to target chocolate itself? These are the questions we’ve been faced with since hearing the latest prediction from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA): cacao trees (which grow chocolate-producing cocoa beans) will likely go extinct as early as 2050 because of climate change.”

Just when I think the global warming narrative can’t get any more ridiculous, they up the ante. And this is hard to do, after claiming cow farts were going to melt the ice caps.

There are many, many places where you can grow chocolate. Claiming that a temperature rise of a few degrees will MAKE COCOA EXTINCT has to be the stupidest thing I’ve read in a long time.

Possible future headlines: Kittens to Cease, Air Conditioning Soon Impossible, Merlot Will Vanish!”

Enjoy your exceptionally cold winter, which is also somehow due to global warming, and buy a few extra chocolate bars BEFORE THEY’RE ALL GONE FOREVER!

It is SCIENCE.

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3 comments

  • Just yesterday I was talking about this with my wife. She had said she saw some article/headline about this and also about something similar recently about coffee. I told her I didn’t know about this specifically but that I smelled a rat. I suspected the Global Warming cult was behind this and it’s probably bollux.

    I figure that they have been seeing that their fear mongering was having little to no effect lately and it greatly distresses them (we’ve seen exactly that kind of headlines), and they needed a new approach to scare the masses.

    What better way than to threaten two of the most popular food items which also have an addictive effect? “That will surely get them to support our agenda!”

    Despicable little shameless control freaks who will stoop as low as necessary to control the world – or at least attempt to do so.

  • All of this Global and Climate Change is just a way to stifle the U.S economy. Every eight or ten years, we get snow here in LA. We also get freezing temp every late Jan and Feb. every year. What most people don’t realize is that so many product we use all the time are oil base products. Mother Nature takes care of her own. We have had droughts and such around for millions of year’s, way before man was involved!

  • Climate Change Will Destroy Everything You Love

    Er…what if I love Climate Change? Will it destroy itself?

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