This write-up on Kieffer pears cracked me up:

Although the most pretentious cheat in the orchard, Kieffer is grown more commonly than any other pear in North America. Its popularity can be accounted for only by accepting Barnum’s dictum that “Americans love to be fooled.” Pears are grown to eat, but those of Kieffer are fit to eat only in culinary preparations, dire necessity alone compelling their consumption uncooked. Yet, pleased by a bright cheek and a fair form, regardless of the potato-like flavor, people buy and eat Kieffer pears and persist in doing so. There are several reasons why Kieffer is popular. No pear has been advertised so widely and so unqualifiedly, growers of trees often supplying virtues to the variety which Nature denies it, because of all pears the trees of Kieffer are most easily grown. Besides this virtue in the trees there are several others that commend the variety more highly. Thus, of all pears grown in America, the trees are uniformly the most vigorous, fruitful, endure heat best, are least susceptible to blight, and withstand best the ravages of San José scale. There are several faults, however; the trees are tender to cold, in some soils refuse to set fruit, are often self-sterile, and sometimes with the best of care bear only pears of small size. Worthless for dessert, much can be said for the fruits of Kieffer for culinary preparation. Cooking removes the disagreeable natural taste of the raw pear, and leaves a good product. Canned, the pears retain their shape, color, and flavor well; therefore, and because white and inviting, canned Kieffers are preferred by commercial canners. Use in the cannery is the true place for Kieffer pears in regions where better sorts can be grown for dessert. Now that the first flush of popularity is past, it would seem a wise precaution on the part of pear-growers to grow this fruit chiefly for the cannery, supplying the demands for dessert pears with worthier varieties, although as long as consumers buy it to eat out of hand, growers cannot be blamed for growing it in commercial orchards.

The seed parent of Kieffer was the Sand pear of China. Peter Kieffer, who lived at Roxborough, near Philadelphia, for many years grew the Chinese Sand pear and sold the trees for ornamental purposes. In his garden there were also trees of Bartlett, Among chance seedlings, Mr, Kieffer observed one of peculiar growth which he saved. This tree bore fruit first in 1863. Later, it was exhibited at the Massachusetts Horticultural Society, and finally at the Centennial Exposition where in 1876 it was named Kieffer. The variety was added to the fruit-list of the American Pomological Society in 1883.

Kieffers are really easy to grow, juicy and vigorous. They also have a rather weird shape to them.

When I grafted a piece of Kieffer pear onto a Bradford pear seedling last year, my friend Randall said “Of all the pears you could have chose… you chose Kieffer?”

I suppose it just appeals to my do-as-little-as-possible approach to gardening. I also don’t mind eating them fresh, even if they are more of a canning pear than anything else.